…Talking about Art, Photography and the Nursery Rhyme Shoots is scheduled to be aired on Friday 29th at 1.00pm BST, and again at 8.00am on Saturday 30th on Andrew Brewerton’s Arts Show on Swindon 105.5FM

http://www.swindon1055.com/listen/

Well, Hannah seemed quite taken!

Well, ’tis 3.13am, and I can’t sleep.  Five and a half hours of M5 and M6 on the way up to Blackpool, and 3 hours back down in the wee smalls, all for what….Well, there’s this bloke called Howard….And had I have already known that Howard’s wife Sam was so beautiful, we would have hurried up the M6 a little more.

Tonight, hold on, sorry.  Last night, Howard sang his own special brand of crooning at the Blackpool Tower Ballroom, and Hannah and I were there to record the event.  Now, Howard is a bit like that Michael Bubble bloke, but from what I saw there’s also more than a bit of the genuine smooth ‘rat pack’ about him.  A good looking guy in his black suit and waistcoat, and we’ll forgive the crocodile skinesque pointy shoes, he delivers ‘Fly me to the moon’ and ‘Mr Bojangles’ with a twinkle in his eye (primarily reserved for anything vaguely female from 18 to 80, sorry Sam!), and a smoothness that you could polish velvet with….Yes, I am a fan!

Waiting in the wings like a 4 year old at 5.30am on December 25th

To be asked by Howard to photograph his performance turned out to be a special night, call me mercenary but I don’t mind being associated with people on the up, and tonight’s shoot together with a further staged photoshoot in September is for a big publicity push that Howard’s starting, including new website, agents, stardom, etc, etc.  And the fact that the guy would never consider lowering himself to ‘X Factor’ level for the sake of 30 minutes of stardom impresses me even more.

When I go into a shoot, there’s a rush of adrenalin, excitement, apprehension, and pure joy to be doing what I have so long wished for.  However, when you see someone, peeking through the stage right curtains, hopping from one foot to the next, doing the soft shoe shuffle and getting totally lost in the moment before he is called on stage, then you realise you’re not alone in having a passion for doing something you love and trying to do it well.

Howard was sharing the stage with Maxine Barrie, who sings as ‘Shirley Bassey’, and won ‘Stars in their Eyes’ in 1990 or so….She was pretty good too, she did the Bassey lip quiver thing very well…But really how can you resist the sheer fondue (a blend of very smooth cheese!) of this…

If you’re interested, then Howard’s current site is www.howardswing.co.uk,  and bear in mind that you should return in a couple of months to watch it change….And Howard has been known to sing at the odd big wedding too, celebs, film stars etc etc.

So, this week, we’ve shot Little Miss Muffett, a heavily pregnant avicularia amazonica, a pair of Jimmy Choos, and a guy who can sing a bit…And we have to go the beautiful Florence and Beatrice and their Mummy and Daddy, and then the lovely Kayleigh…..See, why I’m happy! Enjoy the Bank Holiday, stay off the motorways!….R

How can you not love a guy that does this, on his way OFF stage!

Well, the weather was kind and the team worked brilliantly…. ‘Mother C’ cremated a shed load of sausages, The Photographer (capitals…My Gig) only upset ‘Make Up’ twice, Andrew Tarantino thought he was shooting the new ‘Blair Witch’, some cool bloke in a beanie turned up because of a ‘flat tyre’ (and was promptly marched off into the woods by the sausage killer whilst her Husband played rounders), Hannah gassed half of Wiltshire and redefined ‘petulance and patience’, and the hair duo of HelEm said ‘I wish our Boss could see this’….And oh yes, Ana was a star, looked fantastic and ate spoonful after spoonful of ‘curds and whey’.

The three images are in the can….Just lacking a spider…

Sometimes Make Up Artistes need a good talking to.

What we have visually at the moment is very close to what I originally imagined.  We got the atmosphere right, these are woods that you really shouldn’t wander about in.  The fact that when the first smoke grenade went off, well, let’s just say Hannah legged it 20 yards away holding it like an Olympic Torch going through a protest rally, and the smoke the bloody thing created still meant we couldn’t see each other for 5 minutes.

The day started with a mad expedition for DV Tapes as our Professional Cameraman had four hours previously arrived at Gatwick disease ridden, and so Andrew filled in with not the same level of ‘pull focus’ expertise, but a brilliant line in questioning what the hell we were doing, and filming everything as though he was a ‘rock n’ roll’ Rambo…My thanks to him for filling in.

Then Emily and Helen were late at Chloé’s to start on Ana’s hair, because some idiot had given them the wrong timings (eerr…), but there are no more tales of woe and debacle.  The whole shoot went perfectly as to plan, and was wrapped within 90 minutes…Any longer and Hannah may have started a 40 Marlboro a day habit.

Underway, and the Photographer does his 'Special French Impression'

Next stage….Ray and his Arachnids are in the studio tomorrow night, and then we start on post production, and beyond that, Hannah already started today on hiring police uniforms, a fat suit and a pair of 18 hole Doc Martens.

My sincere thanks to the whole team, and to Ana…Who normally looks like a ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ young sweetheart, but who it was noticed seemed to get more and more into it as the day progressed, and seemed quite happy to pay the ‘Slaphead Photographer’ (Capitals…My Gig) a woeful lack of respect.

Part Three, within a week….