…Talking about Art, Photography and the Nursery Rhyme Shoots is scheduled to be aired on Friday 29th at 1.00pm BST, and again at 8.00am on Saturday 30th on Andrew Brewerton’s Arts Show on Swindon 105.5FM

http://www.swindon1055.com/listen/

Well, the weather was kind and the team worked brilliantly…. ‘Mother C’ cremated a shed load of sausages, The Photographer (capitals…My Gig) only upset ‘Make Up’ twice, Andrew Tarantino thought he was shooting the new ‘Blair Witch’, some cool bloke in a beanie turned up because of a ‘flat tyre’ (and was promptly marched off into the woods by the sausage killer whilst her Husband played rounders), Hannah gassed half of Wiltshire and redefined ‘petulance and patience’, and the hair duo of HelEm said ‘I wish our Boss could see this’….And oh yes, Ana was a star, looked fantastic and ate spoonful after spoonful of ‘curds and whey’.

The three images are in the can….Just lacking a spider…

Sometimes Make Up Artistes need a good talking to.

What we have visually at the moment is very close to what I originally imagined.  We got the atmosphere right, these are woods that you really shouldn’t wander about in.  The fact that when the first smoke grenade went off, well, let’s just say Hannah legged it 20 yards away holding it like an Olympic Torch going through a protest rally, and the smoke the bloody thing created still meant we couldn’t see each other for 5 minutes.

The day started with a mad expedition for DV Tapes as our Professional Cameraman had four hours previously arrived at Gatwick disease ridden, and so Andrew filled in with not the same level of ‘pull focus’ expertise, but a brilliant line in questioning what the hell we were doing, and filming everything as though he was a ‘rock n’ roll’ Rambo…My thanks to him for filling in.

Then Emily and Helen were late at Chloé’s to start on Ana’s hair, because some idiot had given them the wrong timings (eerr…), but there are no more tales of woe and debacle.  The whole shoot went perfectly as to plan, and was wrapped within 90 minutes…Any longer and Hannah may have started a 40 Marlboro a day habit.

Underway, and the Photographer does his 'Special French Impression'

Next stage….Ray and his Arachnids are in the studio tomorrow night, and then we start on post production, and beyond that, Hannah already started today on hiring police uniforms, a fat suit and a pair of 18 hole Doc Martens.

My sincere thanks to the whole team, and to Ana…Who normally looks like a ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ young sweetheart, but who it was noticed seemed to get more and more into it as the day progressed, and seemed quite happy to pay the ‘Slaphead Photographer’ (Capitals…My Gig) a woeful lack of respect.

Part Three, within a week….

The Background

After much planning the first ‘Nursery Rhyme’ is about to come to life on Sunday.  The concept is to capture the nursery rhyme in three images, as a triptych, the middle image summing up the overall narrative.  The twist is (hopefully!) in the way in which the nursery rhyme is interpreted.

Example, ‘Ring a Ring a Roses’, was originally a rhyme about the bubonic plague and all the bodies piling up in the street….Very cheery.  Most nursery rhymes are grounded in historical fact, or at least legend, and what we are going to do is take that history, play with the meaning of the rhyme, add a sometimes contemporary feel, and in some instances be downright wicked and satirical about it.  The fact that Humpty Dumpty was probably never an actual person but a large war cannon has no bearing on how I have visualised the images…To me Humpty Dumpty is a very fat obnoxious skinhead, sat on a wall, high as a kite on acid and coke, and drunk on Jack Daniels and Carlsberg Special Brew…THAT is why he’s gonna fall off the wall!

There are six nursery rhymes in different stages of pre production currently, and given all the planning and thought from lots of people I only hope my own photographic talent is going to be up to it! ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ is just starting to be planned, ‘Humpty Dumpty’ and ‘Jack and Jill’ have been storyboarded and are more prepped, and ‘Mary Mary Quite Contrary’ and ‘Georgie Porgie’ are just on the drawing board.

The first ‘Nursery Rhyme Shoot’

Little Miss Muffett is first up. Originally a real live little girl from the late 1500s, whose Father was purportedly a celebrated entomologist, we are going to shoot this one pretty much straight, although the spider ( a Chilean Rose Tarantula) is going to made a little bit bigger!  Playing the role of Miss Muffett - and to make this work the role will need to be played, hammed up if you like - is a young lady called Ana, who I’m lucky enough to know as she is the eldest daughter of some very dear friends, and I first photographed her (and got a lot of ‘lip’ and abuse from her for my trouble) when she was 7.  Ana is not going to wind up looking like a ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ cute golden ringlets little girl…A)..That’s not Ana, and B) That is not going to be this Miss Muffett…I think we’ll go for something a little more gothic and grungy than that.

The assistance of Colin’s team at First Class Hair Design in Devizes, is always welcomed;  the stylists working with us on this shoot being Helen and Emily.  And whilst I’m thanking those that have planned with me, as always I should thank Chloé for her advice and make up expertise….Enough obsequiousness for now, we’ll thank more people as the shoot gets underway….Please hold off on the rain!!